Lead By Example

I had an interesting conversation with my mom and sister this afternoon which has really resonated with me. My mom made the comment that the best thing a parent can do for a child is to lead by example or "do as I do." She said that this applies to eating healthy, exercising, treating others with respect, being financially responsible, working hard and loving your family, etc. I think she couldn't be more right and I told her so. As many of you know, my father passed away when I was 20 after suffering a traumatic brain injury as a result of a motorcycle accident. My siblings watched my mom remain extremely calm while he was sick and after his death, and pick herself up and live her life. She did not crumble to pieces; she rose to the challenges of living her life without her partner of 20 years. This example of strength did not leave my siblings and me. In fact, it was quite inspiring and gave us something to strive for. For me, I went right back to my college classes after his death, worked hard in school, graduated in four years and went on to get a job. Soon after, I got my master's degree, worked extremely hard and am now happily married with two beautiful children. I did not allow the premature death of my father to cripple my dreams or stifle my drive to succeed. I learned from my mom that the pursuit of happiness regardless of what life hands you is imperative to survival.

I hope all of you have someone in your life who has taught you to rise above the hurdles that may come before you. If you do, you are blessed to have that person in your life. They will show you that you have inner strength that will come from nowhere but is invaluable. They will show you that there is the strength of a lion inside of your veins even when your heart is weeping. A big shout out to Grammy Marla for teaching me this lesson." Do as I do"...I hear you loud and clear Mom.





Grammy Marla and Emma during our 4th of July celebrations

Watch Me Struggle...It's Fine, I'm Not Mad.

I had such a great response off my last blog posting about the questions and comments that people throw my way while out in public, so I thought I'd share more of my experiences that truly boggle my mind. I'd have to say that the most common (and most annoying) behavior is when strangers watch me struggle to get into doorways, and do not offer to hold the door. Unlike a stroller designed for one child, the long double stroller that we use is a royal pain to get into a doorway. Going to places like the grocery store is a pleasure because the doors open automatically on sensors, however, most places require that patrons swing the doors open themselves. So, this requires me to push my rear into the door and hurl the stroller forward to get through the doorway. This often must happen twice, as most retails store have two sets of doors to enter their facility. Although I think that all businesses should have handicap buttons to allow those with disabilities and double strollers to get into doors more easily, it irks me most when people just watch me struggle to get the stroller into the door. The worst part is that I can see people outside and inside the store out of the corner of my eye just watching me struggle. Then, once I finally get through the door, they make comments such as "Ohhh, you have your hands full" or "Uh-oh, double trouble." I just give a half-hearted smile and walk away but I'd really love to say,"Thanks for noticing jackass. Next time, hold the door!" I will never have the guts to say that though.


I'd be curious to hear stories from other mommas about how they've struggled in public and what responses they've gotten from others. Please share your stories; they're sure to be entertaining!

"So, are they identical?"

I was out with my twins yesterday buying some new shoes and the sales clerk asked me if the babies were twins. She then proceeded to ask if they were identical. This is after we picked out girl shoes for Emma and boy shoes for Carter. I answered her politely that they were not identical, and then her comment back to me was, "Well, they look so much alike, you'd think they'd be identical. Are you sure?" Again, I politely said back to her, "Yes, I'm sure. She is a girl and he is a boy so they can't be identical." She then gave me a puzzled look and we carried on about our business. This is one of the many, many, many times that I've had this conversation while out in public. After about the tenth time getting this question, I wanted to respond with a comment about how dumb the asking person must be to assume that a boy and a girl can be identical. Simple biology tells us that they physically cannot be identical!


I'm sure all of you mommas of multiples have gotten this same question a lot, especially those of you with same sex twins. While a lucky few may have identical twins, they are far more uncommon than fraternal twins so the "no, they aren't identical" answer must be more commonplace. Regardless, I still get a laugh inside when I get this question and ones like them. 

However, I've also gotten a lot of far more disturbing questions that have irked me to want to use my body combat skills. Here are some examples:


1. Are those twins? Did you try to get them?
2. Yuck, twins. Why do you leave the house?
3. What fertility medication did you use to have twins?
4. Did you think about aborting one of them when you found out you were having two?
5. Oh, so you're like the Octomom?


Etc., etc, etc....


As a mom, you have to have a sense of humor. Otherwise, you'll go crazy (not with your own kids, but with grown adults and their dumb questions).

"Hi...My name is Elizabeth and my family is always sick!"

This has been a rough winter for the twins and their parents. Throughout the first year of Emma and Carter's lives, they got sick often with respiratory infections but this was expected due to their prematurity. As they turned one (in the summertime), the kids were well for the most part and we were fortunate to avoid any summertime illnesses. Yet, around Christmas, our entire family fell ill to the stomach flu. Carter got sick two days before Christmas Eve and was sick for roughly five days. Once he was on the mend, I started feeling ill and couldn't do much of anything to care for the kids. As I was feeling better, Emma started to exhibit symptoms of the flu, and then about a week later, my poor husband was sick for at least five days. We missed all of our family celebrations for both Christmas and New Year's. This is also the SECOND time that our family had the flu this winter season, and about the fourth time that the entire family has had some illness/virus. 


My children go to a Kid Care program at the Y.M.C.A. while I exercise each morning. As a result, they are exposed to lots of other children who may be germy! In spite of this, I can't get over how many times our family has been sick, and just how ill we all got. I've decided to take matters into my own hands (literally) and scrub these kids down every chance that I get. Not only do I wash their hands before eating, I also purchased a new product by Johnson & Johnson. They are antibacterial wipes that can be used on the face and body, and claim to eliminate 99% of bacterial germs. I'm hoping that these cleaning actions will reduce our incidence of illness. In the meantime, I am also stocking up on Kleenex, a new vomit bucket and lots of Tylenol. 

"I'm a Model, You Know What I Mean!"

Well the babies had their first modeling gigs today for Kohl's Department Store. We arrived early and got to play with all the other babies (and moms and dads) while waiting to be called. Unfortunately, Emma didn't even get in front of the camera because the other baby who was assigned to the same outfit fit the clothes really well. (They always have two children booked for sizes newborn-3T). On the other hand, Carter got all dolled up, hair done, "make-up" and then balled in front of the camera when put in front of those lights. I'm sure it was daunting for him because it would have been for me. It was a fun experience overall and I hope that we get called to do it again. After all, the money earned from these experiences will benefit the kids' savings accounts and eventually their college education. 


I'm not sure how wild I am about the whole hurry up and wait component of this modeling thing though. The casting call is far earlier than the actual shoot, so we had a lot of down time waiting. This is not exactly the ideal situation for young children, as their patience is only so long. We'll see if the kids get called again. In the meantime, I'll hurry up and wait for the phone call. 

Teaching Pride

Fresh off this gigantic Packer win and impending trip to the Super Bowl to beat the Steelers, I've thought a lot about pride in the last day or so. Before yesterday's game, most people could not stop talking about how great they thought the Packers would do and how fun it would be to go to the Super Bowl. Now that they've won, that excitement and PRIDE will only get bigger and more widely expressed. That has me thinking about the ways in which I can teach the concept of pride to my children. 


I want my sweet babies to have a sense of pride in our family, our country and of course in our sports teams. I want them to feel that where they came from is a place of happiness, hard work and love. Mostly, I want them to understand that where they came from is accepting of all, cares for one another and treats everyone with respect. I'd like to think that our family is like that, and I certainly hope that our country will eventually come to that point. I realize that is a work in progress, but I think we are well on our way. 

I do wonder though how to teach a sense of pride to the twins once they are old enough to understand it. Do they learn how to be prideful from seeing my husband and I having excitement for something? Do they pick up pride from us telling them to appreciate something? I think the latter is a bit like brainwashing but I could be wrong. I'd be curious to know what other parents think about this issue and how they plan or have already ingrained a sense of pride into their children. Share your opinions; share your stories. And, GO PACK GO!

Go to Sleep You Little Buggers!

Nappy time is one of the most stressful times of day for me as a parent. The kids eat lunch around 11 and then head to bed around noon. In the last few months, getting them to zonk off has been quite a chore and takes until 1 pm at times (or event later). Since their cribs are in the same room and are actually next to one another, the kids can touch each other and play "pass the nook" back and forth. They grab each others faces which ensues laughter and then tears. Today, Emma grabbed a book out of her bookshelf, which is next to her crib. I had no idea that she could even reach the bookshelf from inside of her crib, but apparently she can. I went into their bedroom four times on this particular day to calm them down and get them to go to bed. Each time, I turned on a lullabye machine, gave them their respective pacifiers and then placed the blanket over them. As I was leaving, both kids jumped up onto their feet before I could even get to the door. This is the downfall of having twins, at least a set that sleeps in the same room. My husband has suggested that they have their own rooms now that they're older and he may be on to something.


I am sort of at the end of my rope with this whole thing and hope that this is a phase that will pass. Yet it seems like my sweet babies may be rounding into their terrible twos at 17 months old. Outside of my napping woes, we have had some feeding catastrophes as of late that lead me to believe the terrible twos are here. Most recently, Emma has started to let her food ooze out of her mouth once she or I place it into her mouth. Then she laughs hysterically, which makes Carter laugh as well. When Carter is then fed or feeds himself, he spits his food out too. The both of them think this is extremely funny and entertaining. However, this leads to food all over them, me and the walls. I try not to laugh at this situation as it is going on around me but it's pretty darn hard. Again, I hope this obnoxious behavior is only a phase and will pass. In the meantime, it's more stress for mommy. What's new?!


The little stinkers after a nice nap:

The Infamous Black Yoga Pants

So...I'm in a bit of a rut; a fashion rut. Don't get me wrong, I have A LOT of great clothes in my closet, many of which are quite expensive and fashionable. However, since last February when I became a full-time stay-at-home momma, I've gravitated towards the 10 pairs of black yoga pants in my closet and wear them daily. I usually pair these lovely pants with one of the 10 pairs of Uggs that I love to don and a North Face or Juicy Couture sweatshirt. Needless to say, I may be wearing "labels" but my fashion sense has truly vanished. For me, it's about comfort and the yoga pants are so darn comfortable. However, I worry that my husband, friends and even my kids are sick of seeing me in these same ensembles. 

I don't think that jeans are as comfortable as the yoga stretchies and I'm certainly not going to sport dress pants. So...calling all stay-at-home moms: do you have any suggestions for something other than wearing athletic wear daily?

Giving Back for Babies

Our children came into this world at 31 weeks or almost two months premature. As I've explained in an earlier post, they spent six weeks in the NICU before coming home, and struggled to maintain their respiration rates, heart rates, body temperatures, weight gains, etc. We were so fortunate to have world-class care at the NICU from the neonatologists and nursing staff. Since our hearts were so close to premature babies, my husband and I wanted to give back to others experiencing similar situations. I contacted the March of Dimes back in September to see if they needed volunteers to donate their time to raise money. The March of Dimes does wonderful work through education and fundraising for premature babies and their families, and education on healthy pregnancies. Soon after I contacted the Milwaukee chapter, the head of fundraising contacted me to be part of their annual Chef's Auction. In fact, they wanted our family to serve as the Ambassador Family for the event and present our story for the guests. The Chef's Auction is the March of Dimes' biggest fundraising event of the year and is geared towards corporate sponsorships and funding. It is a black tie affair held in November and head chefs from several local upscale restaurants come and do cooking demonstrations and serve delishious cuisine from their menus. 


As the Ambassador Family, we were acknowledged at the beginning of the event and our story was printed and placed on each table. Before the live auction (a silent auction also took place), I spoke about our experiences in the NICU and how our babies struggled for the first weeks of their lives and throughout their first year of life. The guests were also privy to a presentation featuring photographs of our kids from birth through the present day. One of the most exciting parts of the evening was bringing the kids to the event, along with my immediate family. The guests were able to see the children's faces which humanized the cause and urged people to donate. It was such a great feeling to be part of this event and help other families just like us. 

Carter (on his birthday)

Emma (on her birthday)

Recently, I was contacted by the Family Teams Council Chairperson for the March for Babies event hosted by the March of Dimes. This event is a fundraising run/walk similar to those held for breast cancer hosted by the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I've been asked to be part of the Family Teams Council and work with families and teams who are participating in the event. Again, I am so humbled and honored that the organization has asked me to be part of this event. The thing that I love the most about working with the March of Dimes is that I can help other families just like mine. After all, I know what it's like to look at your baby (babies in my case) in an incubator and wonder if they'll survive and be able to eventually come home. 

Fertile Myrtle?

As I look at my two, beautiful children, I can't help but think about how lucky my husband and I are to have them in our lives. I remember the almost nine months that we tried to have a baby. This after several months of trying to decide if we were ready to have kids in the first place. The emotions that you face when trying to get pregnant are quite bipolar, as getting pregnant is not always easy. 


It has now been 17 months since the babies came into our lives and we are ready to have another baby (hopefully just one this time). In fact, we've been ready and trying to have another baby for about five months now. Again, I am faced with the same optimism and defeat month after month. This rollercoaster of emotions is often hard to deal with, yet I know that my struggles are not only my own. I have several beautiful friends who have had similar struggles. One has had several miscarriages between the births of her children. Another has learned that she has a blocked fallopian tube and is now contemplating IUI or Invitro after months of testing and other fertility treatments gone wrong. My heart cries for these women, and for myself (I have to admit).


Hopefully the stick will turn pink soon again for us. In the meantime, I continue on this emotional rollercoaster.

Too Much Work for Daddy

I'd like to give a much needed shout-out to my hubby...I feel very honored to be married to such a hard-working man. My husband works full-time as a mainframe programmer for U.S. Bank and is also a volunteer firefighter and treasurer for our local fire department. As a firefighter, he is required to attend regular practices to keep his skills up to par, go on fire calls and participate in various community events (parades, safety days, etc.). As the treasurer, he is in charge of all the department finances. Both positions are completely VOLUNTEER and he is only paid when going on fire calls. I titled this blog as "Too Much Work for Daddy" because I truly believe that the daddy in our house is over-worked. 


My husband is the classic YES MAN! "Can you help me take down this tree?" "Can you be on call for all these hours?" "Can you help me plan my wedding?" These are all requests that he's been given over the last few months on top of everything else that he's involved in. I love, love, love that my husband is so willing to help others and think that makes him such an honorable man. However, his YES MAN status sometimes makes him unavailable to his family. It also puts him in a state of stress when he can't seem to get everything done. 


To combat some of his stresses, I have undertaken all of the household duties so I am now the gardener, lawn gal, chef, child care provider, banker, grocery getter, dog walker, kitty litter cleaner, etc. It's not glamorous but our family survives with my husband's paycheck and my hard work. I often wish that he had less obligations and more time to be our YES MAN. We, meaning the kids and I, often miss him. So appreciate the time that you have with him colleagues, firefighters, etc. because you are lucky to share your life with him. 

Where did this fat behind come from???

For those of you who know me personally know that I am a workout addict. No folks, it's a serious addiction. If I do not work out on any given day, I'm not myself. I don't care if it's Christmas, if I'm ill, if I don't have child care...you get the idea. So, pre-twinners, I was like superwoman. I was running 30 miles a week and was lookin' fly. I was in the best shape of my life and had never been thinner or feeling more H-O-T. Then I became an incubator for little Emmie and Carty. Now, I pose the following question: Where did this fat ass come from???


Throughout my pregnancy, I gained about 35 pounds, which is fairly low for twins. This includes the weight that I needed to gain to even get pregnant. (Yes, part of having a superwoman body was that I was a bit too thin to get pregnant without packing on a few pounds. So, now 16 months after the birth of my children, I am not looking the way I did before the stick turned pink. I am still a devotee to exercise though. I run seven days a week, roughly 20 miles per week. I also take a spinning class five days per week and do kickboxing and resistance class once per week. I'm a total gym rat, yet my hips, thighs and bum do not look as if I'm putting in all this time at the gym. It's as if my body is saying, "Hold up sister, you had kids, your ass will never look that good again!" At this point, I am undecided if I am going to give into BS. In the meantime, I'm still fighting for my pre-baby bod. See Exhibit A inserted in this blog for my post-baby body and post-preggo babies. The babies look better than my thighs by the way.


I'm sure there are many of you mommas out there who are experiencing the same struggles. My best recommendation is to keep trekking to the gym, running outside or even just taking a walk with your baby(ies) and your pup. This daily jolt of endorphins will make you a bit more pleasant to be around and will give you energy to deal with your kids, if nothing else. 

Exhibit A

Oh, and, maybe skipping dessert a few times a week would help as well. This tidbit of advice is brought to you by "do as I say, not as I do." Good luck mommas!

Breaking the Bank

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING...if you have a child(ren), you may go broke! 


Part of the struggle of being a twin momma (or any momma for that matter) is that it is so damn expensive! As if the cribs, car seats, double stroller, high chairs, clothing and toys are not expensive enough, there's the things that really matter. Forgive me for not being green on this issue, but I do not do cloth diapers. Poo times two means double the wash and I'm not about to start washing poop out of cloth diapers to save a few bucks. So, I'm a devotee to Pampers Swadders (http://www.pampers.com/en_US/home/) during the day and then Pampers Baby Dry in the evening. In fact, call me crazy, but I double wrap my nuggets in one of each diaper at night. That way, if there's a leak out of the inside diaper, it gets caught in the outside diaper. This has really helped our kids sleep through the night without wet pjs, sheets and blankets. Genius, right?!


Since I am not willing to wash out poo times two, I needed to get creative to save some ching on diapers. This is where http://www.diapers.com comes in. This site is FANTASTIC! Not only is the cost of name-brand diapers less expensive compared to many generic store brands, the shipping is free if the purchase is over a specified amount. Since I generally purchase large boxes of diapers, I can meet that quota right off the bat. This site has also been a great resource for name-brand clothing at lower costs (Zutano, Tea Company, Robeez, Carter's, etc.), toys and items for my kid's health care needs. Fellow twin mommas and every other momma out there, please check out this site. Your pocketbook will thank you later!


The other main source of baby expenses comes from their food. I am a devotee to Gerber products (http://www.gerber.com/public/default.aspx) and love their food. I also puree a lot of my own fruits and veggies and make scrumptious meals for Emma and Carter. Truthfully, I'd like them to be eating all solid foods at this point (16 months) but they are a bit finicky. In fact, if certain foods are not on a spoon or pureed, they won't eat them. Yet, in mush form, the kids are game to swallow them up. This is quite a frustration for me, mainly because Emma is open to eating more non-purees compared to Carter, but it's hard to feed both at the same time. So, I usually start with a puree and then move on to a cut up banana and some crackers to get them to eat some solids at every meal. 


I'm always looking for meal suggestions and for ways to get the buggers to eat solids. Suggestions fellow mommas???? 

A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

This is what you've missed...

On Tuesday, July 21, 2009 at 11:00 p.m., my husband and I awoke to discover that my water had broken only an hour after going to bed. Once en route to the hospital, I started having contractions that increased rapidly. At about 2:00 a.m., the medical staff at St. Mary’s Hospital in Milwaukee, WI determined that our twin babies needed to be delivered immediately. My doctor drove down to the hospital and both babies were born via c-section before 3:00 a.m. Their premature birth came as a great surprise to us, as my pregnancy was very seamless, healthy and uneventful. In fact, I worked out that morning, took the dog for a walk and attended our last birthing class that evening.

Once our babies, Emma and Carter, arrived, we were only able to see them for a second before they were rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit of the hospital. There, they were hooked up to continuous positive airway pressure machines to assist with their breathing. Emma was also intubated for a short time and was given medication to stimulate her lungs. The doctors placed IV lines into their belly buttons to monitor their blood-gas levels, and both babies were placed in incubators to regulate their body temperatures. At this point also, their heart rates were continually monitored, in addition to their blood pressure. At birth, Emma was 3 pounds even and Carter was 2 pounds, 14 ounces. Due to the fact that they were so small, body functions that most take for granted for newborn babies were not so easy for these little ones. They regularly stopped breathing, known as apnea of prematurity, and had to triggered by the staff to start breathing again. They could also not nurse or bottle-feed and had to be given nourishment through feeding tubes. In addition, unlike most new parents, we could not hold, hug or kiss our children for several days due to the IV lines in their stomachs. Once we were finally able to hold them together, almost 5 days after their birth, they were only allowed out of the incubators for a few minutes, as their temperatures would plummet in room temperature air.

Our children spent six weeks in the NICU before coming home. Over the course of their first year, both babies were sick off and on with respiratory infections and Carter contracted RSV, a dangerous respiratory illness that is extremely harmful to babies, especially premies who have a history of lung weakness. Emma and Carter’s early arrival certainly changed their lives, at least in their first year. They are thankfully doing wonderful now and have never been healthier. We attribute their current success to the wonderful care that we received in the NICU at St. Mary’s and from their pediatrician and his staff currently. 

The course of events that made up my children's first 16 months has changed the course of our lives tremendously. As stated though, they are doing so great now. So, here's where life gets interesting...I'll share all my crazy twin stories with you in this blog, as well as some of my Twin Momma2.0 tips for surviving motherhood (with one, two or more). Stay tuned mommas!